Please SKIP this article if you:
- never get scared OR make mistakes
- never experience worry, doubt & anxiety OR
- never fall into the ‘7 Man-Traps' (destructive faulty thinking habits)
Mmm... you're still reading (great). Welcome to the other 7.5 billion people on the planet just like you! Believe me, no one enjoys exposing their vulnerability, weaknesses, or neediness.
The sensations & feelings are uncomfortable, but you won't die. Stop and be kind to yourself, stop beating yourself up and being your own worst enemy. Imagine that you are ‘H.I.P’ ...a human being in progress & you are naturally programmed for courage, because your daily survival depends on it.
Have you ever experienced anger, jealousy & frustration - and felt out of control? These and many other intense emotions are easily triggered by disagreements, heated conversations and provocative behaviour. You can push the feelings into a dark corner but you can't hide from them. In the long-run this emotional management strategy creates even bigger problems.
Be Brave & Listen Closely
The solution is to be brave, listen closely and honestly. When you do you'll notice there are three grades of thought:
- Sensible - worth listening to and taking seriously
- Dumb - harmless but can sneak under the radar ...OR
- Stupid - dangerous, dumb but highly convincing (hard to ignore)
You have to track the 7 'Man-Traps’ you fall into daily. Faulty thinking, deletions & distortions become habitual due to sheer quantity of thoughts spewing out of the thought factory. When we allow it to run the show, it creates havoc & misery for you ...and dis-connection from the people you care about or have to work with.
Operating on Auto-pilot
We're all guilty of letting negative thoughts slip through the net because we switch to automatic pilot. Have you ever jumped in your car, got to your destination - but not remembered anything about the journey?
The only way to over-ride the system is greater awareness and more interrogation of the three grades of thoughts that cause emotional indigestion.
Recognise the faulty thought - and fix it! The logical brain is the wise voice of reason, it's your best friend in this instance. Allow it to do it's job - thinking straight. Allow it to interrogate suspicious looking beliefs & assumptions.
Then you can unleash your 'secret weapon', the brains enormous creative capacity for finding alternative ideas (the most likely outcome) and replacing wonky thoughts.
WARNING: BE VIGILANT
Watch out for signs of Anxiety .. Worry .. Fear and Doubt. These four miserable friends are useful early warning signs of danger, because occasionally they get it right. However faulty feedback from these highly charged emotions can send you into an emotional tail spin.
THE AUTHOR: Joy Langley
Is a stress & anxiety Coach based in the UK who enjoys coaching men on how to take care of emotional health. She is skilled at sharing psychological hacks & strategies in practical, down-to-earth ways.
Her grand mission? (1) To help men find more rational options when they hit the stress & anxiety wall. (2) To fight & win the battle against dark negative thoughts, and (3) to encourage the involvement of partners (or family & friends) when things go pear-shaped ...after all, two heads are better than one!
It's a win-win for both parties understanding how & why a Strength can flip-flop into an Anti-Strength.
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