My therapy & coaching clients regularly challenge my 'view of the world.' One thing I've been asking myself lately is:
"Are men emotionally different to women?"
(the answer is ...Yes & ...No)"
(1) There are different rules & Codes of Conduct for MEN
Parents, care givers, society & the media SHOUT loud & clearly what is acceptable EMOTIONAL behaviour for men and women.
They dictate what emotions little boys can have...and then what young men MUST be or DO to be worthy of the 'man' badge. The internal emotional world of girls and boys starts out equally, but like being at a crossroads, the sexes take a different road once indoctrinated with the cultural norms of society.
Parents, family, friends & wider society control what emotions little boys and young men are permitted to freely express, and then what they MUST be or do to be worthy of the 'man' badge.
The problem is these rigid rules limit a basic human freedom ...the right to emotional expression. It sets unrealistic standards, a level of excellence that the majority of men (and women for that matter) struggle to uphold & enforce. The whole process is a slow burner, setting men up for emotional difficulties, confusing personal relationships, and poor emotional management strategies.
2) The communication style is more DIRECT
Perhaps this is a by-product of the masculine rules. It influences man-to-man interactions and is duplicatedin interactions with women.
Men have a unique set of "emotional strengths," which is rarely acknowledged. However the skill is learning when, why & how to use them. Otherwise strengths become anti-strengths, with the potential to destroy work & personal relationships.
I'd be interested in hearing your point of view:
(1) Do boys start out with a clear understanding of their emotional world?
2) What happens to the guys who kick-back at the indoctrination and the macho-man stereotyping?
(2) Are men really that bothered by the state of play! Is there any value in learning new emotional skills & strategies. Will these skills really help men excel in an 'emotionally charged' world?
THE AUTHOR: Joy Langley
Is a stress & anxiety Coach based in the UK who enjoys coaching men on how to take care of emotional health. She is skilled at sharing psychological hacks & strategies in practical, down-to-earth ways.
Her grand mission? (1) To help men find more rational options when they hit the stress & anxiety wall. (2) To fight & win the battle against dark negative thoughts, and (3) to encourage the involvement of partners (or family & friends) when things go pear-shaped ...after all, two heads are better than one!
It's a win-win for both parties understanding how & why a Strength can flip-flop into an Anti-Strength.